Friday, February 13, 2009

My Second Family

On monday of this week, BYU began informing the prospective studints of their collegic future. I figured, with my luck I would be the last one to find out. I recieved no notification on Monday, but then tuesday rolled around. I was in digital art when I got the e-mail telling me to check the website. I was terrified.

I was shaking like a leaf the whole period. Greg wanted me to go to the site right then, but I had promised myself that I would read it at home. It turned out that Brooke got the same e-mail as well. We both txted every mormon person we knew telling them that we're just minutes away from seeing our future. 
We both snuck out of school before third period and ran to our cars. While i was walking, all I could think of were things like, What if i don't get in? How am I going to react? I haven't said a quality prayer in forever. What if God is mad at me? I haven't kept a journal. I rarely do personal scripture study. Is that going to keep me from going to my dream school? Me and Brooke met by our cars and wished each other luck and promised to tell each other as soon as we find out.
Well, I got home, ran up to my computer, brought it down to the kitchen so my mom could be there with me, and I went to besmart.com to see my fate. My hands were shaking. I logged in, and this is what I saw.

Denied. My heart shattered. It sunk to the pit of my stomach and turned to mush. I began to cry.  knew crying wouldn't change my acceptance. Nothing would. I failed. Everything that I had been working so hard for the past 4 years down the drain. I was rejected to the school I had always dreamed of attending. 
Needless to say, I didn't return to school that day.  I spent the next few hours feeling sorry for myself, laying on my mom's lap and watching cooking shows on TV. I didn't dare touch my phone because I knew all of my friends wanted me to txt them telling them the verdict, but I was far too miserable at that point. 
After my sulk session, I finally got up the nerve to pick up my phone. 12 new txt messages and 6 missed calls (every single call from Brooke).  I found out that she was going through the same thing as me. 
we were the rejects. Every other txt was from my friends saying sooo??? and what does it say?? and good luck!!
I cried again. My friends were all expecting to hear the best news, and I really didn't want to tell them I was rejected. I told about 3 people and hoped word would just spread. I was right. I got so many txt messages saying how sorry everyone was that I didn't get in.
Brooke came over later so we could commiserate, and Maggie came by with muffins for us. Elle ased if there was anything she could get for us, and Kaile and Emilee convinced us to go out for some ice cream.
 When we got there, they had invited the whole laurel class and our leaders to come and support us. It was such a comf
ort knowing that 
my friends and leaders would be there for me at such a hard time. They truly are my second famiy. 

I haven't had to deal with a whole lot of adversity or rejection so far in my life. Some of the most traumatic moments in my life so far were not getting a part in Seussical the musical when they were going to England to perform, and losing the class of
 2009 class elections by less than 25 votes... twice. I'm sure looking back on things, they won't seem as important as they did when they occured, and hopefully this event will go in that category as well. I still got to participate in lots of SGA events and I got a break from all of the
 tedious play practices and I saved a  whole bunch of money by not going to England (but I still would've rather gone). 
Hopefully this experience is just a blessing in disguise. And I'm REALLY hoping. I guess i'm just not meant to go to 
BYU my 
freshman year, at least. There is a better place for me to be. So now I'm
 going to be looking more into Snow college and BYU Idaho this weekend. Hopefully i'll love one of them as much as I already love BYU.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

winter sports



I went to my first school basketball game for the first time in... my whole high school career last night. i LOVED it. it was so fun!! i was missing out all of these years when I avoided the games. it was INTENSE. but I have to say... I still love football more. The whole envoronment at the basketball game was soo diffrent from that at the football games. it was pretty laid back, which was still fun. we ended up winning in overtime. At the end of the game, I wanted to go congratulate some of the players like I do at the football games, only i wasn't really friends with any of the players. With the footbal players, I give all of my friends hugs and high fives after the game.. but that didn't happen at the basketball game
 because they would think i was crazy. 

After the game, a bunch of us went to the QO hockey game. I've been to the end of one i think sophomore year, but then none after that. It was so cool though! like football on ice... with a smaller ball (puck) and sticks. I hink my favorite part of all big sports games is just cheering. I get so into the game, and i don't care what i sound like, i scream my guts out. it's awesome. I can't wait until i have kids and i can be that crazy soccer mom at the games,yelling at the refs and cheering all of my kids on. it's going to be great.

Friday, February 6, 2009

more lists

I love lists.

i don't really know why but i do.. making them is so fun. I know i've already made a 100 things about me but then later on i remember things that I can add to it later. So i'm thinking as i remember good things to write, i'll just add them to another post.
101. I love to watch the monkeys at the zoo. especially when they fight with each other
102. I would love to meet the man I will marry right now.
103. I love to watch TV shows on my computer
104. I want to one day be a creative director for a company. Or at least get to design things for an  ad agency

ANYWAYS

Thursday, February 5, 2009

sitting, waiting, wishing


So I was thinking today about college and stuff, just as any other high school senior does when they're zoning out of who-knows-what during school hours. While i wasn't learning, I got to thinking about my choices for college, the situations I would be put in, and everything along those lines.  The college that I've always dreamed of attending is BYU. Not BYU Idaho or BYU Hawaii. Just the original BYU. This past year has been so stressful with just waiting for responses from colleges. It's honestly terrifying. Now I just can't focus on any work because all I do is worry. what if i don't get in? where am I going to go then? will i like it? what if my friends don't get in? how am I going to afford this? 

I have gotten into Snow college and BYUI, so 
at least I have some schools to fall back on, but I have no idea which one I will go to.
I think the most upsetting thing about me going to college somewhere across the country, is leaving my very best friend Elle. 

I know girls all have like "a thousand" best friends, I say it all the time. And I really do love all of my friends, but Elle is.. my person, i guess. We say we're attached at the hip because we never EVER leave each other's sides. We really get each other. We're practically t
he same person, and she has helped me grow soo much throughout high school. 
We both make insanely funny faces, we talk in ridiculous accents, we watch stupid movies, we laugh at the stupidest jokes, and have fun doing some pretty lame things. We love to read "air" books (have no substance) and we both do theatre.  there are more... but i just can't think of them on the spot.
unfortunately, well... it's actually great! but... sad. She was lucky and talented enough to get into the Tisch program at NYU for next year because sheis a phenomonal actor. The only bad thing is, we're going to be on opposite sides of the country for the majority of the next four years of our lives, at least. I don't think I'll be able to find a replacement for her in Utah or idaho... or even the whole country.
i'm just glad some genius invented Skype. It's the best program everrr!! you can video chat with anyone around the world!! it's going to be the basic means of communication between me and elle, and we can even make faces at each other through the computer!!!
college is going to be tough, but thank goodness for modern technology.
P.S. only 22 more days till i hear from BYU!!