On monday of this week, BYU began informing the prospective studints of their collegic future. I figured, with my luck I would be the last one to find out. I recieved no notification on Monday, but then tuesday rolled around. I was in digital art when I got the e-mail telling me to check the website. I was terrified.
I was shaking like a leaf the whole period. Greg wanted me to go to the site right then, but I had promised myself that I would read it at home. It turned out that Brooke got the same e-mail as well. We both txted every mormon person we knew telling them that we're just minutes away from seeing our future.
We both snuck out of school before third period and ran to our cars. While i was walking, all I could think of were things like, What if i don't get in? How am I going to react? I haven't said a quality prayer in forever. What if God is mad at me? I haven't kept a journal. I rarely do personal scripture study. Is that going to keep me from going to my dream school? Me and Brooke met by our cars and wished each other luck and promised to tell each other as soon as we find out.
Well, I got home, ran up to my computer, brought it down to the kitchen so my mom could be there with me, and I went to besmart.com to see my fate. My hands were shaking. I logged in, and this is what I saw.
Denied. My heart shattered. It sunk to the pit of my stomach and turned to mush. I began to cry. knew crying wouldn't change my acceptance. Nothing would. I failed. Everything that I had been working so hard for the past 4 years down the drain. I was rejected to the school I had always dreamed of attending.
Needless to say, I didn't return to school that day. I spent the next few hours feeling sorry for myself, laying on my mom's lap and watching cooking shows on TV. I didn't dare touch my phone because I knew all of my friends wanted me to txt them telling them the verdict, but I was far too miserable at that point.
After my sulk session, I finally got up the nerve to pick up my phone. 12 new txt messages and 6 missed calls (every single call from Brooke). I found out that she was going through the same thing as me.
we were the rejects. Every other txt was from my friends saying sooo??? and what does it say?? and good luck!!
I cried again. My friends were all expecting to hear the best news, and I really didn't want to tell them I was rejected. I told about 3 people and hoped word would just spread. I was right. I got so many txt messages saying how sorry everyone was that I didn't get in.
Brooke came over later so we could commiserate, and Maggie came by with muffins for us. Elle ased if there was anything she could get for us, and Kaile and Emilee convinced us to go out for some ice cream.
When we got there, they had invited the whole laurel class and our leaders to come and support us. It was such a comf
ort knowing that
my friends and leaders would be there for me at such a hard time. They truly are my second famiy.
I haven't had to deal with a whole lot of adversity or rejection so far in my life. Some of the most traumatic moments in my life so far were not getting a part in Seussical the musical when they were going to England to perform, and losing the class of
2009 class elections by less than 25 votes... twice. I'm sure looking back on things, they won't seem as important as they did when they occured, and hopefully this event will go in that category as well. I still got to participate in lots of SGA events and I got a break from all of the
tedious play practices and I saved a whole bunch of money by not going to England (but I still would've rather gone).
Hopefully this experience is just a blessing in disguise. And I'm REALLY hoping. I guess i'm just not meant to go to
BYU my
freshman year, at least. There is a better place for me to be. So now I'm
going to be looking more into Snow college and BYU Idaho this weekend. Hopefully i'll love one of them as much as I already love BYU.
